I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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