the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
So vagazzling was a success
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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