it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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