sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
