Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
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