That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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