you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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