I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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