I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Randomize
