VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
