Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I'm at about main and main street
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
