What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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