I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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