Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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