Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
