If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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