I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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