haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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