She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
