Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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