a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
My dick has a subreddit
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
