sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
