I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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