Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
