You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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