You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
