Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
