the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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