It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
