the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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