Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
