Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
