Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
