You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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