You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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