Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
