I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
