You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
