Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize