Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
