i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
