physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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