we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize