Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
