is your mom at the bar?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
