So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I think my vagina is haunted
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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