:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
