Can i not drive my cunt home
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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