White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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