Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
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I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
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I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
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