I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
