My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
