if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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