i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
