Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
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Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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