I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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