K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
