The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
