i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
