need another drink. this is the easiest way
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
My boob is missing a layer of skin
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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